Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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