Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
