Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
