I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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