I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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