That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
is wine microwaveable?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
