When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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