my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
