I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
