Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My brain says no but my pants say off.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
