the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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