I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
