Christians are straight up FREAKS
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I stole a fireplace last night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize