sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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