whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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