I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
