I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
