Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
someone owes me an orgasm
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
