I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
