she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
