The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
