I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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