Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
