Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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