I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
