...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize