and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
