OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
