I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
