Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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