I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
