I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Where is the hickey?
vagina is talking i cant
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
