its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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