You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
