the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
