She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
is it fun? or sober?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize