he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
