just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
