I wish I could teleport
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
