its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
