You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
