help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
