my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
