Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
