Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I can text with my tongue
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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