I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
