I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Semen is not good for contacts.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
