idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
