Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize