I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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