and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
