she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
