so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize