ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
