Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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