The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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