I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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