i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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