There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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