I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he thought i was a dude.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Boobs speak an international language.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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