I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
