He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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