remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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