I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
